Point A to B
Everyone knows you don’t go from point A to B in one straight line. It’s a jagged line or a curved line or sometimes you have to make the line move forward by force. That makes for a very thick line. You go forward and then back and then forward again, so that it doesn’t look like much of a line at all, more like a scribble.
If I had a little more faith and a few less control issues, maybe that line would be straight, but I think I go in more of a straight line with a loop-de-loop in the middle.
Transitions are hard for me. I take that first big leap of faith, usually with a lot of encouragement from my husband. Someone is hurting, I do my best to be there. Someone needs a sitter, sure I can watch the kids. We are low on money, I can laugh cause that’s like a recurring thing for us.
Until that realization that it’s a new season, and I really need to get a job. Then, I’m fretting about loss of family time. I’m fearful of the tag teaming (you’re in, I’m out). Everything has to be good at home. What if everything falls apart?
Soon after I’d started a nonprofit, something I truly believed God wanted me to do, I panicked. I laid my head on the pillow, but I couldn’t sleep. I thought, What was I thinking? I can’t start a nonprofit. How am I going to home school my kids? Had I forgotten about those three needy children? Had I been completely irresponsible?
It’s funny to look back now. The kids are excited that I’m working. Go figure. They still eat three meals a day. The nonprofit is small and what needs to happen for the growth of the people in it, happens.
The moments on the straight line where I said, “Yes God, let’s do this!” were so easily turned around by doubt. Perhaps the acknowledgement that I’m not strong enough or clever enough to hold everything together shouldn’t have been a moment of panic, but a moment of trust. When God calls us to point B, he’s the one with the power to make it work.
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
“You of little faith,” he said, “Why did you doubt?”
And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
Ashley Soden is the director of Write/Create, Inc. She's currently writing her first novel. When she's not writing, she's living life to the full with her husband and three energetic kids. You may also find her making lattes at Starbucks.